Hilarious comedy post!

Life According To A Teenager

Recently, okay – just now actually, I walked into the toilet barefoot. This procedure was extremely unwise as you shouldn’t go anywhere barefoot, especially the bathroom where the floor is laden with germs, spray from the flush and bits of shredded toilet paper that obviously are the outcome of having nothing else to do during a very boring and long poo.

The light in the downstairs bathroom is notorious for not working – at all – meaning that when there is no light outside from the glorious light bulb floating in the sky to be emitted through the tiny window in the room, you have to pee in pitch darkness, which I think of as an exciting challenge that cheers up the long wait every now and then in a mans life when the bladder has to be drained.

However, having been peeing day in, day out, for 13 years…

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My fortune cookies :)

Just now, for inspiration for blog posts, I came across the idea about making my own fortune cookies. If you follow my blog you kinda know what the expression passing my face is right now! OK, methinks, I’ll write some fortune cookies.

If any of these things happen to you after reading them, which of course they do, you have to believe I’m magical with super powers an’ all that! I have powers u know!

1. You will breathe within the next ten seconds

2. You will read the next point (because I know you are interested!)

3. You will google +1 my post

4. You will scratch your bottom at least once in your lifetime

So ya

 

3 Macs in 1 week.

Yes, I bought myself a Mac Book Pro 17 inch a while ago. Macs are awesome, reliable, fast, virus and malware proof and shiny with an Apple logo on.

I am an Apple enthusiast. Always blasting the message that Macs are the best into my tech-loving friends faces until they at least give into one of my many points about Mac awesomeness. Windows; crummy. Mac; awesome!

Until about 3 weeks ago, I was forced to use my crummy windows computer, until I decided I couldn’t go on like this. I mean, you could die waiting for a Windows computer to just LOAD! My Mac was awesome! It worked fine and dandy! One day it broke. The Apple oompa-loompas swapped it for a new one… that broke. The Apple dudes swapped it for a new one… OK!

Short but yet sweet post ‘cos I don’t want to linger on this point. Why did I just post this!!!??? I am totally going against my  Macs Rule rule.

 

What to do or what not to do? philosophical thoughts.

Upon deciding what to do today, my brother, my Mum and I had a debate. I wanted cycling, my brother wanted, of course, cinema and my Mum didn’t mind.

I had a brainwave that we shouldn’t decide what to do, but should decide what not to do first. I thought this was a genius idea. I think it through:

To decide what to do, you have only a set idea in mind: I want to go cycling in Battersea park. You could, theoretically have a long list of things in a specific order, but again, everyone has to decide and agree.

If you brainstorm what you defiantly don’t want to do, then others who might want to do what you don’t will rule that idea from their list and either replace it or not, but will not waste time suggesting it, and will already have another idea in their mind.

When everything has being thought of, then maybe you could start suggesting what you do want to do, and they should all be nearly the same as others, because everything they would have said no to has already being ruled out.

 

Just a thought,

Ralph, age 13